Would you rather… have your baby wake up 5 times a night or only take 30/40 minute naps? Are you laughing and thinking, “um I have both” or “obviously I want neither”? Getting woken up throughout the night is awful, yes, but it can be just as problematic when your baby isn’t getting the right amount of daytime sleep. Both for the baby who’s missing out on restorative sleep and their caregiver who’s probably desperate for the opportunity to even get one task finished or for just a moment to themselves. Here’s a closer look at the causes of and solutions to those abbreviated naps.
First, it’s simple but crucial to understand that babies sleep in cycles (just like the rest of us) where they go from light sleep, to deep sleep, and back to light again. There are a few notable differences between adult and child sleep cycles but the important one in this case is the length. Baby sleep cycles are shorter~ one cycle typically takes about 40-50 minutes to complete. With that being said, let’s go through some causes of short naps.
1. Baby’s not waking up where they originally fell asleep
Putting baby down for naps in their crib, in their nursery, is such an important step towards long, restful daytime naps. Imagine you fell asleep in your bedroom and then woke up a couple hours later in the backseat of your car parked in the driveway! Would you able to fall right back to sleep peacefully or would you need some answers before you could relax again? It’s a similar situation for babies; when they fall asleep in the car seat or stroller, and at the end of the first sleep cycle as they rouse slightly, their environment can play a big part on getting back to sleep easily.
As often as possible, you want to get your little one into the crib or bassinet while they’re still awake, and let them fall asleep in the same spot they’ll wake up in. You really want baby to be able to develop the association of falling asleep with being in their own sleep space. This will make the transition between each sleep cycle smoother and less noticeable for babe.
2. Baby’s dependent on a “prop” to get to sleep
This falls along the same lines, but it’s important to point out for anyone whose baby does nap in the crib, but is still waking after only a short stint. So yes you’re putting baby down for naps in their crib, but you’re helping them all the way to sleep first by rocking, shushing, patting their bum, nursing or feeding babe there. These are the most common sleep props; a few more include singing, rubbing a hand or face, and parent(s) sleeping next to them.
While these techniques seem so effective on the surface, they’re typically only a short-term solution to the issue. Baby becomes accustomed to these props in order to fall asleep and soon enough they can’t get to sleep without them, meaning without parent or caregiver intervention! So when they go down for a nap, come up to the light stage at the end of that first sleep cycle, they’re wake up and need the prop again to go back to sleep. And if that prop is not immediately available they can get agitated, start to cry, get themselves worked up waiting and then getting back into a deep sleep is pretty much impossible.
3. Baby’s too tired to sleep
Seems like a contradiction, I know; if baby’s tired, baby will sleep, right? As with all things parenting, it’s more complicated than that. There is the very common misconception that the more tired we are, the more our bodies will want to sleep. The more they NEED sleep yes, but it’s not as if it just turns off when we get too tired. In fact, when we put off our natural sleep rhythm and go into a state of “over-tiredness,” our body systems assume we’re staying awake for good reason and do what they can to help us out; by bumping up cortisol production and stopping melatonin secretion. Both of these are major hinderances to a deep, restorative sleep. We want baby in the crib when they’re tired and ready, and we don’t want to keep them awake much longer than that for this exact reason. Insert >> Wake windows! aka precise chunks of time from one wake up to the next. Compare this guide to your current schedule
I know it can be so difficult sticking to a baby’s sleep schedule, but if you’re consistently seeing only 30-40 minute naps, it might be time to get a little militant about your timing..at least for a week or two. Any routine that a baby can be introduced to, they will follow (as they expect us to show them the way), so make sure whatever you’re doing, that it’s appropriate, time-wise, for their age.
4. Baby’s in a bad nap environment
Daytime, by and large, just is not as conducive as nighttime is. It’s bright out, there’s traffic, dogs are barking, the Amazon delivery guy’s ringing the doorbell and your neighbor’s mowing the lawn. We are definitely swimming against the current when it comes to good daytime sleep. The two best pieces of advice I can give you when it comes to a nap-friendly environment are a white noise machine (assuming environmental noise is an issue) and blackout blinds on the windows.
Yes, the noise machine is optional. Many people assume they have a soothing affect, as they may for some, but in experience, they’re just a solid tool for blocking out sudden noises that might disrupt baby.
Blackout blinds on the other hand, I find quite indispensable. Light, especially sunlight, stimulates cortisol production so it’s imperative to keep baby’s nursery dark, and I mean dark, like “can’t see your hand in front of your face” dark. Babies are not afraid of the dark, I promise (: Quite the opposite, most comfort is found when mimicking the womb; dark, cozy, loud consistent whooshing, warmth and familiarity. The closer you can get to this, the better. Blackout blinds do not need to be fancy, just functional. Currently, since the day I read this tip when Margo was 3 months old, there has been a dark sheet nailed behind her thick curtains to block the window light and we use a door snake outside of her door because of the gap letting hallway light in. Like I said, not fancy! just does what I need it to.
So for those of you who laughed at my “Would you rather?” to begin, there is really good news for you; solving daytime sleep issues is going to work wonders for the nighttime issues too! Learning to self-soothe is a skill they can exercise in the nighttime just as well during the day, and great daytime sleep means baby won’t be overtired at bedtime, which only makes it easier for them to get to sleep, and stay asleep through the night. No need to choose between an easy day or an easy night, with consistency and determination, the only choice you’ll have to make is what to do with all of the you-time you’ll be enjoying (;